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Heavy Conversation Podcast

Heavy Conversation #52: The Big Guy’s Guide to Sex 101

This week marks 52 sweet episodes of Heavy Conversation! Can you believe it? On this 1 year anniversary episode, we’re taking on a topic that we’ve gotten questions about, but haven’t covered before: plus size sex!

Culture tells us that men are supposed to know everything about sex, and never have questions or insecurities about it. We all know that’s not reality, so Jody and I are starting the conversation with a high level overview of the positions, toys, and tips that can help you take plus size sex to the next level. This is the beginning of an ongoing conversation that we’ll continue to have as we dig deeper into the many facets of fat sexuality.

Heineken Beer
Photo: Jody Koenig

This week’s beer: Heineken! It’s not the craft brew type beer we usually go for, but sometimes you just want something you know and like. See other beers we’ve enjoyed on the Heavy Conversation Beer List on Untappd.

Plus Size Sex Resources

There’s a lot of good info in the episode (so listen to it!), but we thought it was important to put together a quick list of resources that can help you make the most of your plus size sexy time. Listen to the episode for even more tips and info that can help.


  • Don’t Be Embarrassed About Your Naked Body: If you aren’t loving your body when it’s naked, how will you be comfortable with somebody else? Don’t sweat the things you might think are imperfections and chances are, your partner/hookup/fwb won’t either. If they weren’t interested, they wouldn’t be there, so try not to let those fears that might roll around in your head take over.
  • Consent and Communication: Always get consent, talk about what you like, what you don’t like, what you want, and what your partner wants, likes and doesn’t. Don’t be afraid to talk! Everyone is different and wants their own thing. Being open and communicative helps make things easier and makes everyone more comfortable.
  • Not All Sex Has to Be Penetrative: There are lots of ways to have sex, and not all of them are penetrative. Experiment with massages, mutual masturbation, oral and more. Be open to trying new things and you might like what you discover.
  • Take Your Time and Enjoy Yourself: Things don’t have to move quickly, nor do they need to move slowly. Take your time, don’t feel rushed and enjoy the experience. Try to drop any preconceived notions you might have about how quickly things need to happen and when. It can remove a lot of performance related anxiety.
Big Big Love Revised by Hanne Blank
Big Big Love Revised, by Hanne Blank


Big Big Love, by Hanne Blank: A sex and relationships guide for people of size and those who love them. this is a book you should absolutely own. Positions, interviews, resources, dealing with body anxiety – this book covers it all. Hanne even answered Chubstr reader questions about plus size sex a few years ago. Read the Q+A here.

Plus Size Sex Experts

Want to dive deeper into the world of fat sex? Here are a few people you should follow to learn more:

  • Chrystal Bougon, Curvy Girl Lingerie: Chrystal is amazing and you need to learn about her ASAP. She’s done so much to help bigger people feel better about themselves and to know that they deserve great sex. Do yourself a favor and check out Curvy Girl Lingerie (which has so much more than just lingerie) and follow her on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram where she shares advice, resources and products you need to know about.
  • With 262 episodes and counting, Dawn Serra’s Sex Gets Real podcast has covered all things sex and is a great listen. If you’ve done it, thought about it, or had a question about it, Dawn has probably addressed it on the show.

Positions, Toys and More

Listen to the podcast and learn about all the positions, toys and issues we covered in the episode!